Thursday, March 24, 2016
Oh...Your Wife Is Crazy?
Last November I stayed at my Auntie's house for approximately one day. She lives in a small small town...like the kind where if you blink you'll miss it (I grew up in one of those so I'm pretty familiar). The reason I tell you this is because I was on an app that had my location and I was only interested in people within 25 miles of me - my Aunt lives 50 miles from me. I did a little online dating while at her house and matched with a "gentleman." We chatted a bit and eventually exchanged numbers. He didn't waste anytime asking me out for dinner. I don't know what I appreciate more: a guy who's like "let's just meet and see if this is something" or a guy who's like "let me get to know you and then ask you out." Honestly, most days I'm like I don't want to waste my time telling you about my favorite childhood memory...like for serious.
We met at a restaurant in the middle. He wasn't super great at conversation - I excel in the area of conversation so I'm pretty good at keeping one going, however, hate when it's up to me to do so. It's not much of a conversation if I ask you questions and you answer all of them and ask me nothing. At one point he began talking about his ex-wife. Now, I don't usually bring up exes on a first date, but if the guy does...fair game right? So I say something like "how long have you been divorced." I bet at this point you can anticipate his reply, "well, we're not officially divorced." Uh...I'm sorry...what?! CHECK PLEASE.
He went on to explain that his marriage had been over for a while and that his wife is crazy. Ha, like do people usually have nice things to say about the person they are getting a divorce from - hey she's super awesome just not really for me anymore...gimme a break! I excuse myself to the restroom and contemplate just leaving, but it's cold and my coat is at the table. Damnit! I decide, instead, that I'll stop carrying the conversation and request the check. I basically demand to pay my half because I realize that this isn't going anywhere - I don't care how long your marriage has been "over" if you're not completely divorced I'm not interested. Get in your marriage or get out, but don't have one foot in one foot out. He didn't let me pay half the tab, which is annoying and confusing. Like I basically think you're a big D but now you're picking up the tab and walking me to my car....JUST STOP.
He sent a couple follow up text messages. I never responded - that's my "go to" I'm not interested move. I know it would be nicer to just say that and, in fact, this guy seemed to get frustrated with my method and told me that if I wasn't interested I could just tell him that because he's a "big boy" and could handle it. Yea, still no.
I'll probably marry this one.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Even the good guys aren't that good
Hello dear readers - I've been lacking in the dating department...mostly because my life got busy with other things and I was seeing the same guy on a regular basis and things seemed to be going well, again, no one REALLY wants to hear about the things that go well so I had to wait until they crashed and burned - late last week. WARNING: this is longer than I anticipated so go to the bathroom, get a snack and something to drink.
So I met this guy at the beginning of December which was actually really terrible timing to meet a halfway decent guy because later that month I was out of town for almost two weeks (for a dear friend's wedding), then the holidays are always busy. Also, not helping matters was the fact that we worked opposite shifts which only allowed for a Friday or Saturday date.
We met at a loud crowded bar where a group of college aged kids were having an ugly sweater party and we basically had a shout to one another. He shook my hand - I remember thinking that was a little weird, but to each their own. We had decent conversation and some appetizers. He picked up the tab and we left. We did not park in the same area at all (Hello Minneapolis). He didn't walk me to my car, which is sometimes a deal breaker for me - I mean, we're in downtown Minneapolis and it's late...don't make me walk to my car alone. But he did. We split ways at a stoplight. He shook my hand again and said "it was nice to meet you" that was a little more odd than the initial handshake and I honestly thought he must not be THAT interested, which I'll be honest was a bit of a disappointment for me. He seemed great: lived on his own, had a job, never married, no kids, grew up in a Christian home.
Imagine my surprise when he messaged me again and asked me out. Of course I was JUST getting ready to leave town so I apologized for bad timing. He was super sweet about it and we planned to meet up up 3 weeks later. We got coffee and went to a museum. I'm not usually a fan of museums, but it was the Science Museum and it was cool.
We hung out a few more times and then there were things I started to really not like about him. Things that were kind of unattractive. For example, I found him to be a bit of a cheap skate. He would set up "dates", if you will, but they would always be at my apartment watching Netflix. BOYS: That's not a date - I now feel the need to clean my house from top to bottom, buy snacks for you to eat and entertain you while you're here - umm, NO. One time I suggested we do something and because he was unable to plan anything he would always ask me for "ideas." Oh, because you wanted to just come over, eat my food, watch my TV, drink my alcohol and leave...ok that's cute. So, we agreed on a Wednesday that we would go bowling on a Friday. Then I didn't hear from him until 6:30 on said Friday stating he would pick me up around 7:30 (My guess is so that he didn't have to pay for a meal). On our way there he said, "I assume you've already eaten dinner" (I can't make this stuff up).. We bowl. On the way home he talks about how expensive the bowling seemed and how he thinks it's cheaper near his house, well, that's probably true considering you live in the land of no where and I live in MINNEAPOLIS (just sayin), also the other option was FREE, but I was bored of movies and entertaining guests.
I began to complain to some of my friends who agreed that this guy was probably the most decent guy that I had met. My friends told me that these things I complain about: his lack of planning a date and his cheap skate ways were fixable. Basically, I was seeing a "fixer upper." I'm not really into fixing anything up - I mean, there's probably someone I can pay to fix the things I need fixed. But I continued to hang out with this guy - only now it was very very sporadic because of our opposite shifts and what I would consider his lack of interest. I mean, honestly I would hear from him on Wednesday asking if I wanted to hang out over the weekend and I didn't wait around to see if he would ask me out - I made plans with other people as they came up and then was busy by the time he asked me to hang out.
Things got a little weird when he asked me if I wanted to sleep over at his house. That's not really my thing and he lives about 25 minutes from my house so there's literally NO REASON why I would have to sleep over. I said that I would hang out, but I had no intention of sleeping over. Then my cousin from out of town came into town unexpectedly so I canceled with the guy (family first and let's be real - this guy just isn't that into me). Things got weirder still when he talked to me about how he feels in the morning. Sometimes when people say things that make me uncomfortable I just pretend they were never said. So that's what I did. Only I talked to my friends about it who told me that he was "just a guy being a guy" (honestly why do I STILL listen to these people and call them friends? :) ) The final "I can't do this no matter what my friends say" came late last week when he sent a snap chat conversation asking if he could send me an inappropriate picture and I could rate him. BOYS: most girls DO NOT want this. If you're concerned talk to a trusted friend or here's an idea...ever heard of Google - no one even has to (or wants to) know. JUST STOP. I sent him a message back also on snap chat conversation. I apologized if I ever gave him the impression that I wanted those types of messages told him I wasn't that kind of girl. He unfriended me on Snap immediately and I have a feeling I'll never hear from him again so I can go back to my ways of living in filth, watching what I want and not buying junk food for other people to eat...also can someone buy a girl a drink - this was exhausting and too long to kind of hang out with the same person who kind of seemed decent, but really wasn't.
I'll probably marry this one.
Back to the drawing bored. In other news I have gone on a couple other dates and have some on the line.
If you've made it this far - congratulations - you deserve a drink
If you're married and NEVER online dated - stop giving me your silly advice :)
Love to you all
So I met this guy at the beginning of December which was actually really terrible timing to meet a halfway decent guy because later that month I was out of town for almost two weeks (for a dear friend's wedding), then the holidays are always busy. Also, not helping matters was the fact that we worked opposite shifts which only allowed for a Friday or Saturday date.
We met at a loud crowded bar where a group of college aged kids were having an ugly sweater party and we basically had a shout to one another. He shook my hand - I remember thinking that was a little weird, but to each their own. We had decent conversation and some appetizers. He picked up the tab and we left. We did not park in the same area at all (Hello Minneapolis). He didn't walk me to my car, which is sometimes a deal breaker for me - I mean, we're in downtown Minneapolis and it's late...don't make me walk to my car alone. But he did. We split ways at a stoplight. He shook my hand again and said "it was nice to meet you" that was a little more odd than the initial handshake and I honestly thought he must not be THAT interested, which I'll be honest was a bit of a disappointment for me. He seemed great: lived on his own, had a job, never married, no kids, grew up in a Christian home.
Imagine my surprise when he messaged me again and asked me out. Of course I was JUST getting ready to leave town so I apologized for bad timing. He was super sweet about it and we planned to meet up up 3 weeks later. We got coffee and went to a museum. I'm not usually a fan of museums, but it was the Science Museum and it was cool.
We hung out a few more times and then there were things I started to really not like about him. Things that were kind of unattractive. For example, I found him to be a bit of a cheap skate. He would set up "dates", if you will, but they would always be at my apartment watching Netflix. BOYS: That's not a date - I now feel the need to clean my house from top to bottom, buy snacks for you to eat and entertain you while you're here - umm, NO. One time I suggested we do something and because he was unable to plan anything he would always ask me for "ideas." Oh, because you wanted to just come over, eat my food, watch my TV, drink my alcohol and leave...ok that's cute. So, we agreed on a Wednesday that we would go bowling on a Friday. Then I didn't hear from him until 6:30 on said Friday stating he would pick me up around 7:30 (My guess is so that he didn't have to pay for a meal). On our way there he said, "I assume you've already eaten dinner" (I can't make this stuff up).. We bowl. On the way home he talks about how expensive the bowling seemed and how he thinks it's cheaper near his house, well, that's probably true considering you live in the land of no where and I live in MINNEAPOLIS (just sayin), also the other option was FREE, but I was bored of movies and entertaining guests.
I began to complain to some of my friends who agreed that this guy was probably the most decent guy that I had met. My friends told me that these things I complain about: his lack of planning a date and his cheap skate ways were fixable. Basically, I was seeing a "fixer upper." I'm not really into fixing anything up - I mean, there's probably someone I can pay to fix the things I need fixed. But I continued to hang out with this guy - only now it was very very sporadic because of our opposite shifts and what I would consider his lack of interest. I mean, honestly I would hear from him on Wednesday asking if I wanted to hang out over the weekend and I didn't wait around to see if he would ask me out - I made plans with other people as they came up and then was busy by the time he asked me to hang out.
Things got a little weird when he asked me if I wanted to sleep over at his house. That's not really my thing and he lives about 25 minutes from my house so there's literally NO REASON why I would have to sleep over. I said that I would hang out, but I had no intention of sleeping over. Then my cousin from out of town came into town unexpectedly so I canceled with the guy (family first and let's be real - this guy just isn't that into me). Things got weirder still when he talked to me about how he feels in the morning. Sometimes when people say things that make me uncomfortable I just pretend they were never said. So that's what I did. Only I talked to my friends about it who told me that he was "just a guy being a guy" (honestly why do I STILL listen to these people and call them friends? :) ) The final "I can't do this no matter what my friends say" came late last week when he sent a snap chat conversation asking if he could send me an inappropriate picture and I could rate him. BOYS: most girls DO NOT want this. If you're concerned talk to a trusted friend or here's an idea...ever heard of Google - no one even has to (or wants to) know. JUST STOP. I sent him a message back also on snap chat conversation. I apologized if I ever gave him the impression that I wanted those types of messages told him I wasn't that kind of girl. He unfriended me on Snap immediately and I have a feeling I'll never hear from him again so I can go back to my ways of living in filth, watching what I want and not buying junk food for other people to eat...also can someone buy a girl a drink - this was exhausting and too long to kind of hang out with the same person who kind of seemed decent, but really wasn't.
I'll probably marry this one.
Back to the drawing bored. In other news I have gone on a couple other dates and have some on the line.
If you've made it this far - congratulations - you deserve a drink
If you're married and NEVER online dated - stop giving me your silly advice :)
Love to you all
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