Oh...Your Wife Is Crazy?

Last November I stayed at my Auntie's house for approximately one day. She lives in a small small town...like the kind where if you blink you'll miss it (I grew up in one of those so I'm pretty familiar). The reason I tell you this is because I was on an app that had my location and I was only interested in people within 25 miles of me  - my Aunt lives 50 miles from me.  I did a little online dating while at her house and matched with a "gentleman." We chatted a bit and eventually exchanged numbers. He didn't waste anytime asking me out for dinner. I don't know what I appreciate more: a guy who's like "let's just meet and see if this is something" or a guy who's like "let me get to know you and then ask you out." Honestly, most days I'm like I don't want to waste my time telling you about my favorite childhood memory...like for serious.

We met at a restaurant in the middle. He wasn't super great at conversation - I excel in the area of conversation so I'm pretty good at keeping one going, however, hate when it's up to me to do so. It's not much of a conversation if I ask you questions and you answer all of them and ask me nothing. At one point he began talking about his ex-wife. Now, I don't usually bring up exes on a first date, but if the guy does...fair game right? So I say something like "how long have you been divorced." I bet at this point you can anticipate his reply, "well, we're not officially divorced." Uh...I'm sorry...what?! CHECK PLEASE.

He went on to explain that his marriage had been over for a while and that his wife is crazy. Ha, like do people usually have nice things to say about the person they are getting a divorce from - hey she's super awesome just not really for me anymore...gimme a break! I excuse myself to the restroom and contemplate just leaving, but it's cold and my coat is at the table. Damnit! I decide, instead, that I'll stop carrying the conversation and request the check. I basically demand to pay my half because I realize that this isn't going anywhere - I don't care how long your marriage has been "over" if you're not completely divorced I'm not interested. Get in your marriage or get out, but don't have one foot in one foot out. He didn't let me pay half the tab, which is annoying and confusing. Like I basically think you're a big D but now you're picking up the tab and walking me to my car....JUST STOP.

He sent a couple follow up text messages. I never responded - that's my "go to" I'm not interested move. I know it would be nicer to just say that and, in fact, this guy seemed to get frustrated with my method and told me that if I wasn't interested I could just tell him that because he's a "big boy" and could handle it. Yea, still no.

I'll probably marry this one.