Socially distant dates can still work. And, side note, they are SUPER AWESOME because there is far less pressure because, hello, please stay 6 ft away from me at all times.
But imagine this: you start talking to a guy online, the conversation is good, you realize you have a few mutual friends and you agree to go out, but then 3 days before your scheduled date a GLOBAL PANDEMIC is declared and your state shuts down. New plan: let's text forever and become pen pals. That was my reality.
After weeks of texting we agreed to meet up and do a little trail walking, allowing us to keep social distance but still kind of hang out. I requested a fountain soda from McDonald's ($1) and we walked. It was fun. Conversation continued to be good and he was funny. Then the date ended. We waved from feet apart, walked separately to our cars and drove home.
After a meet up there's always the question of when do you message, how long should a person wait between the date and a text. How long should I wait between when he messages and when I message back. I want him to know I'm interested but don't want to be desperate. I want to go after what I want and I don't want to seem needy. So.many.things.to.consider. Ultimately, I usually the the guy follow up. AND HE DID. We messaged regularly following our meet. In the days that followed the messages generally got fewer and fewer until there were none, leaving me really confused. Sometimes when this happens, I send a message to make sure it's not on my end. I let him know that I had a good time and would welcome another socially distant date. You know what he sent back? NOTHING. CRICKETS.
What happened between Monday - Friday? I may never get to know...and I want to be okay with that, but I'm not...like how hard is it to say literally anything?!
During one of our conversations he thought it was interesting that we had mutual friends who knew we were both single but never suggested that we meet up. He wondered if they were protecting me from him...maybe they were. Just maybe they were.
NEXT.
Sunday, May 3, 2020
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Oh...Your Wife Is Crazy?
Last November I stayed at my Auntie's house for approximately one day. She lives in a small small town...like the kind where if you blink you'll miss it (I grew up in one of those so I'm pretty familiar). The reason I tell you this is because I was on an app that had my location and I was only interested in people within 25 miles of me - my Aunt lives 50 miles from me. I did a little online dating while at her house and matched with a "gentleman." We chatted a bit and eventually exchanged numbers. He didn't waste anytime asking me out for dinner. I don't know what I appreciate more: a guy who's like "let's just meet and see if this is something" or a guy who's like "let me get to know you and then ask you out." Honestly, most days I'm like I don't want to waste my time telling you about my favorite childhood memory...like for serious.
We met at a restaurant in the middle. He wasn't super great at conversation - I excel in the area of conversation so I'm pretty good at keeping one going, however, hate when it's up to me to do so. It's not much of a conversation if I ask you questions and you answer all of them and ask me nothing. At one point he began talking about his ex-wife. Now, I don't usually bring up exes on a first date, but if the guy does...fair game right? So I say something like "how long have you been divorced." I bet at this point you can anticipate his reply, "well, we're not officially divorced." Uh...I'm sorry...what?! CHECK PLEASE.
He went on to explain that his marriage had been over for a while and that his wife is crazy. Ha, like do people usually have nice things to say about the person they are getting a divorce from - hey she's super awesome just not really for me anymore...gimme a break! I excuse myself to the restroom and contemplate just leaving, but it's cold and my coat is at the table. Damnit! I decide, instead, that I'll stop carrying the conversation and request the check. I basically demand to pay my half because I realize that this isn't going anywhere - I don't care how long your marriage has been "over" if you're not completely divorced I'm not interested. Get in your marriage or get out, but don't have one foot in one foot out. He didn't let me pay half the tab, which is annoying and confusing. Like I basically think you're a big D but now you're picking up the tab and walking me to my car....JUST STOP.
He sent a couple follow up text messages. I never responded - that's my "go to" I'm not interested move. I know it would be nicer to just say that and, in fact, this guy seemed to get frustrated with my method and told me that if I wasn't interested I could just tell him that because he's a "big boy" and could handle it. Yea, still no.
I'll probably marry this one.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Even the good guys aren't that good
Hello dear readers - I've been lacking in the dating department...mostly because my life got busy with other things and I was seeing the same guy on a regular basis and things seemed to be going well, again, no one REALLY wants to hear about the things that go well so I had to wait until they crashed and burned - late last week. WARNING: this is longer than I anticipated so go to the bathroom, get a snack and something to drink.
So I met this guy at the beginning of December which was actually really terrible timing to meet a halfway decent guy because later that month I was out of town for almost two weeks (for a dear friend's wedding), then the holidays are always busy. Also, not helping matters was the fact that we worked opposite shifts which only allowed for a Friday or Saturday date.
We met at a loud crowded bar where a group of college aged kids were having an ugly sweater party and we basically had a shout to one another. He shook my hand - I remember thinking that was a little weird, but to each their own. We had decent conversation and some appetizers. He picked up the tab and we left. We did not park in the same area at all (Hello Minneapolis). He didn't walk me to my car, which is sometimes a deal breaker for me - I mean, we're in downtown Minneapolis and it's late...don't make me walk to my car alone. But he did. We split ways at a stoplight. He shook my hand again and said "it was nice to meet you" that was a little more odd than the initial handshake and I honestly thought he must not be THAT interested, which I'll be honest was a bit of a disappointment for me. He seemed great: lived on his own, had a job, never married, no kids, grew up in a Christian home.
Imagine my surprise when he messaged me again and asked me out. Of course I was JUST getting ready to leave town so I apologized for bad timing. He was super sweet about it and we planned to meet up up 3 weeks later. We got coffee and went to a museum. I'm not usually a fan of museums, but it was the Science Museum and it was cool.
We hung out a few more times and then there were things I started to really not like about him. Things that were kind of unattractive. For example, I found him to be a bit of a cheap skate. He would set up "dates", if you will, but they would always be at my apartment watching Netflix. BOYS: That's not a date - I now feel the need to clean my house from top to bottom, buy snacks for you to eat and entertain you while you're here - umm, NO. One time I suggested we do something and because he was unable to plan anything he would always ask me for "ideas." Oh, because you wanted to just come over, eat my food, watch my TV, drink my alcohol and leave...ok that's cute. So, we agreed on a Wednesday that we would go bowling on a Friday. Then I didn't hear from him until 6:30 on said Friday stating he would pick me up around 7:30 (My guess is so that he didn't have to pay for a meal). On our way there he said, "I assume you've already eaten dinner" (I can't make this stuff up).. We bowl. On the way home he talks about how expensive the bowling seemed and how he thinks it's cheaper near his house, well, that's probably true considering you live in the land of no where and I live in MINNEAPOLIS (just sayin), also the other option was FREE, but I was bored of movies and entertaining guests.
I began to complain to some of my friends who agreed that this guy was probably the most decent guy that I had met. My friends told me that these things I complain about: his lack of planning a date and his cheap skate ways were fixable. Basically, I was seeing a "fixer upper." I'm not really into fixing anything up - I mean, there's probably someone I can pay to fix the things I need fixed. But I continued to hang out with this guy - only now it was very very sporadic because of our opposite shifts and what I would consider his lack of interest. I mean, honestly I would hear from him on Wednesday asking if I wanted to hang out over the weekend and I didn't wait around to see if he would ask me out - I made plans with other people as they came up and then was busy by the time he asked me to hang out.
Things got a little weird when he asked me if I wanted to sleep over at his house. That's not really my thing and he lives about 25 minutes from my house so there's literally NO REASON why I would have to sleep over. I said that I would hang out, but I had no intention of sleeping over. Then my cousin from out of town came into town unexpectedly so I canceled with the guy (family first and let's be real - this guy just isn't that into me). Things got weirder still when he talked to me about how he feels in the morning. Sometimes when people say things that make me uncomfortable I just pretend they were never said. So that's what I did. Only I talked to my friends about it who told me that he was "just a guy being a guy" (honestly why do I STILL listen to these people and call them friends? :) ) The final "I can't do this no matter what my friends say" came late last week when he sent a snap chat conversation asking if he could send me an inappropriate picture and I could rate him. BOYS: most girls DO NOT want this. If you're concerned talk to a trusted friend or here's an idea...ever heard of Google - no one even has to (or wants to) know. JUST STOP. I sent him a message back also on snap chat conversation. I apologized if I ever gave him the impression that I wanted those types of messages told him I wasn't that kind of girl. He unfriended me on Snap immediately and I have a feeling I'll never hear from him again so I can go back to my ways of living in filth, watching what I want and not buying junk food for other people to eat...also can someone buy a girl a drink - this was exhausting and too long to kind of hang out with the same person who kind of seemed decent, but really wasn't.
I'll probably marry this one.
Back to the drawing bored. In other news I have gone on a couple other dates and have some on the line.
If you've made it this far - congratulations - you deserve a drink
If you're married and NEVER online dated - stop giving me your silly advice :)
Love to you all
So I met this guy at the beginning of December which was actually really terrible timing to meet a halfway decent guy because later that month I was out of town for almost two weeks (for a dear friend's wedding), then the holidays are always busy. Also, not helping matters was the fact that we worked opposite shifts which only allowed for a Friday or Saturday date.
We met at a loud crowded bar where a group of college aged kids were having an ugly sweater party and we basically had a shout to one another. He shook my hand - I remember thinking that was a little weird, but to each their own. We had decent conversation and some appetizers. He picked up the tab and we left. We did not park in the same area at all (Hello Minneapolis). He didn't walk me to my car, which is sometimes a deal breaker for me - I mean, we're in downtown Minneapolis and it's late...don't make me walk to my car alone. But he did. We split ways at a stoplight. He shook my hand again and said "it was nice to meet you" that was a little more odd than the initial handshake and I honestly thought he must not be THAT interested, which I'll be honest was a bit of a disappointment for me. He seemed great: lived on his own, had a job, never married, no kids, grew up in a Christian home.
Imagine my surprise when he messaged me again and asked me out. Of course I was JUST getting ready to leave town so I apologized for bad timing. He was super sweet about it and we planned to meet up up 3 weeks later. We got coffee and went to a museum. I'm not usually a fan of museums, but it was the Science Museum and it was cool.
We hung out a few more times and then there were things I started to really not like about him. Things that were kind of unattractive. For example, I found him to be a bit of a cheap skate. He would set up "dates", if you will, but they would always be at my apartment watching Netflix. BOYS: That's not a date - I now feel the need to clean my house from top to bottom, buy snacks for you to eat and entertain you while you're here - umm, NO. One time I suggested we do something and because he was unable to plan anything he would always ask me for "ideas." Oh, because you wanted to just come over, eat my food, watch my TV, drink my alcohol and leave...ok that's cute. So, we agreed on a Wednesday that we would go bowling on a Friday. Then I didn't hear from him until 6:30 on said Friday stating he would pick me up around 7:30 (My guess is so that he didn't have to pay for a meal). On our way there he said, "I assume you've already eaten dinner" (I can't make this stuff up).. We bowl. On the way home he talks about how expensive the bowling seemed and how he thinks it's cheaper near his house, well, that's probably true considering you live in the land of no where and I live in MINNEAPOLIS (just sayin), also the other option was FREE, but I was bored of movies and entertaining guests.
I began to complain to some of my friends who agreed that this guy was probably the most decent guy that I had met. My friends told me that these things I complain about: his lack of planning a date and his cheap skate ways were fixable. Basically, I was seeing a "fixer upper." I'm not really into fixing anything up - I mean, there's probably someone I can pay to fix the things I need fixed. But I continued to hang out with this guy - only now it was very very sporadic because of our opposite shifts and what I would consider his lack of interest. I mean, honestly I would hear from him on Wednesday asking if I wanted to hang out over the weekend and I didn't wait around to see if he would ask me out - I made plans with other people as they came up and then was busy by the time he asked me to hang out.
Things got a little weird when he asked me if I wanted to sleep over at his house. That's not really my thing and he lives about 25 minutes from my house so there's literally NO REASON why I would have to sleep over. I said that I would hang out, but I had no intention of sleeping over. Then my cousin from out of town came into town unexpectedly so I canceled with the guy (family first and let's be real - this guy just isn't that into me). Things got weirder still when he talked to me about how he feels in the morning. Sometimes when people say things that make me uncomfortable I just pretend they were never said. So that's what I did. Only I talked to my friends about it who told me that he was "just a guy being a guy" (honestly why do I STILL listen to these people and call them friends? :) ) The final "I can't do this no matter what my friends say" came late last week when he sent a snap chat conversation asking if he could send me an inappropriate picture and I could rate him. BOYS: most girls DO NOT want this. If you're concerned talk to a trusted friend or here's an idea...ever heard of Google - no one even has to (or wants to) know. JUST STOP. I sent him a message back also on snap chat conversation. I apologized if I ever gave him the impression that I wanted those types of messages told him I wasn't that kind of girl. He unfriended me on Snap immediately and I have a feeling I'll never hear from him again so I can go back to my ways of living in filth, watching what I want and not buying junk food for other people to eat...also can someone buy a girl a drink - this was exhausting and too long to kind of hang out with the same person who kind of seemed decent, but really wasn't.
I'll probably marry this one.
Back to the drawing bored. In other news I have gone on a couple other dates and have some on the line.
If you've made it this far - congratulations - you deserve a drink
If you're married and NEVER online dated - stop giving me your silly advice :)
Love to you all
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
These Guys Tho
Just a quick update to leave you with these:
These crack me up EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.
Like do these kinds of lines even work any more. Also, I'm pretty sure these types send THE SAME MESSAGE to a number of women and hope ANYONE bites.
NEXT.
Like do these kinds of lines even work any more. Also, I'm pretty sure these types send THE SAME MESSAGE to a number of women and hope ANYONE bites.
NEXT.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
The Bearded One
Ok dearest readers I have been on a dating rampage lately, but they have been too good to really blog about...I mean, who REALLY wants to read about good dates...amirite. Bad dates make the best stories...this one may disappoint, but it's current...
I had gotten very frustrated with another potential (more on that almost 6 week saga later) and logged back on to that trusty Plenty of Fish, you know the one, free, full of creepers who are looking for one night stands because apparently the bar is no longer full of intoxicated people with low inhibitions. Go there, punks. Let me live my life on Plenty of Fish.
Anyhow, I start talking to this gentleman. He has more facial hair than I really care for, but I have realized that some things are fixable...we CAN change them ladies! And in one of his pics he cleaned up really well. We exchanged a couple of emails and then phone numbers and text messages. Once a man has your phone he can now find you on snap chat - which started with terrible intentions, but I use it to exchange double chin pictures with my family #donthate
He finds me on snap. He's appropriate and funny. He asks me to brunch for the VERY.NEXT.DAY. Home boy wastes no time. I appreciate that - get to the point let's see if I can sit across the table from you for a meal.
The next day came and guess what?! MY CAR WOULDN'T START. Something about sub zero temperatures. I send an immediate text to the Bearded One and tell him NOT to meet me there because my car wasn't starting and I had to cancel. Just then my phone rang - I bet you can guess who it was -- THE GUY! He asked for my address and stated that he would pick me up in 20 minutes. What a guy! Or he's been cat fished enough times that he was like NOT TODAY.
The date was nothing you want to hear about. He was a good guy. He does play Magic cards and attends Comic Con (not really my thang, but whatevs). He picked up the tab and when we got back to his car he opened my car door - I was all glad I tried this one out. He dropped me off at home and helped me start my car. See, I told you you didn't want to hear about this one.
Sometimes I like to see how long before a guy follows up following a date. This one took approximately 15 minutes before sending me a snap chat video saying he had a good time. And you know what SO.DID.I, but a snapchat video? C'mon. We agree that we are going to hang out again sometime. And guess how often I hear from him now? EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Guess how many times he's invited me out again...you guessed it! ZERO.
I don't know that I'm interested, but I'd be interested in a second date. What I'm NOT interested in are the 7 second snaps of nothing I receive on a daily basis - like are we doing this or not. Don't waste my life.
I'll probably marry this one.
I had gotten very frustrated with another potential (more on that almost 6 week saga later) and logged back on to that trusty Plenty of Fish, you know the one, free, full of creepers who are looking for one night stands because apparently the bar is no longer full of intoxicated people with low inhibitions. Go there, punks. Let me live my life on Plenty of Fish.
Anyhow, I start talking to this gentleman. He has more facial hair than I really care for, but I have realized that some things are fixable...we CAN change them ladies! And in one of his pics he cleaned up really well. We exchanged a couple of emails and then phone numbers and text messages. Once a man has your phone he can now find you on snap chat - which started with terrible intentions, but I use it to exchange double chin pictures with my family #donthate
He finds me on snap. He's appropriate and funny. He asks me to brunch for the VERY.NEXT.DAY. Home boy wastes no time. I appreciate that - get to the point let's see if I can sit across the table from you for a meal.
The next day came and guess what?! MY CAR WOULDN'T START. Something about sub zero temperatures. I send an immediate text to the Bearded One and tell him NOT to meet me there because my car wasn't starting and I had to cancel. Just then my phone rang - I bet you can guess who it was -- THE GUY! He asked for my address and stated that he would pick me up in 20 minutes. What a guy! Or he's been cat fished enough times that he was like NOT TODAY.
The date was nothing you want to hear about. He was a good guy. He does play Magic cards and attends Comic Con (not really my thang, but whatevs). He picked up the tab and when we got back to his car he opened my car door - I was all glad I tried this one out. He dropped me off at home and helped me start my car. See, I told you you didn't want to hear about this one.
Sometimes I like to see how long before a guy follows up following a date. This one took approximately 15 minutes before sending me a snap chat video saying he had a good time. And you know what SO.DID.I, but a snapchat video? C'mon. We agree that we are going to hang out again sometime. And guess how often I hear from him now? EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Guess how many times he's invited me out again...you guessed it! ZERO.
I don't know that I'm interested, but I'd be interested in a second date. What I'm NOT interested in are the 7 second snaps of nothing I receive on a daily basis - like are we doing this or not. Don't waste my life.
I'll probably marry this one.
Monday, January 25, 2016
Pedophile Style?
So I met a new guy this weekend, Saturday night. He drove about an hour to meet me. I drove 3 minutes, that is the way it should be after all, right ladies? We had exchanged a handful of emails and text messages. He seemed decent (they all do), he did use terrible pick up lines that I just pretended he didn't use - are those still a thing? Guys, stop!
In one of our exchanges he mentioned that he thought we had exchanged emails in the past (well, that should have been my first clue), but that we had never met up. Later he gave me some line about how we were going to meet up but I jetted off to Michigan and then we never talked again. Sounds about right...there was probably a reason.
He called me before we met up on Saturday. He said that the restaurant we would be attending was only a 2.1 rating on Google, but that he was willing to "take the risk" on this restaurant because it was really the company that he cared about...talk about a line!
I ordered a $3 beer. I got carded. He ordered an $11 fru fru drink after asking the waitress about the cost of everything. He didn't get carded. He made some weird comment about how it had been a while since he'd gone out with a woman who was carded for a drink. We ordered an appetizer of chips and salsa and he was appalled that we had to pay for them - usually chips and salsa are free in his dream land. The food was mediocre and the conversation was mostly okay. He talked about his ex and seemed jaded. He talked about stay at home moms and how that didn't seem like a "real" job because that's what his ex used to do...blah blah blah. Don't worry ladies, I schooled him on how hard a stay at home mom works and dared him to try it sometime...maybe that's why we went dutch when the bill came.
To be honest this was a confusing date. The "gentleman" was more than a decade older than me and I'm not sure if he invited me out out of spite for his ex (who is re married with a kiddo btw) or because he was interested in me. He said he'd like to see me again, but then let me pay half the tab. We hugged, left the 2.1 restaurant and then I never heard from him again.
I'll probably marry this one.
In one of our exchanges he mentioned that he thought we had exchanged emails in the past (well, that should have been my first clue), but that we had never met up. Later he gave me some line about how we were going to meet up but I jetted off to Michigan and then we never talked again. Sounds about right...there was probably a reason.
He called me before we met up on Saturday. He said that the restaurant we would be attending was only a 2.1 rating on Google, but that he was willing to "take the risk" on this restaurant because it was really the company that he cared about...talk about a line!
I ordered a $3 beer. I got carded. He ordered an $11 fru fru drink after asking the waitress about the cost of everything. He didn't get carded. He made some weird comment about how it had been a while since he'd gone out with a woman who was carded for a drink. We ordered an appetizer of chips and salsa and he was appalled that we had to pay for them - usually chips and salsa are free in his dream land. The food was mediocre and the conversation was mostly okay. He talked about his ex and seemed jaded. He talked about stay at home moms and how that didn't seem like a "real" job because that's what his ex used to do...blah blah blah. Don't worry ladies, I schooled him on how hard a stay at home mom works and dared him to try it sometime...maybe that's why we went dutch when the bill came.
To be honest this was a confusing date. The "gentleman" was more than a decade older than me and I'm not sure if he invited me out out of spite for his ex (who is re married with a kiddo btw) or because he was interested in me. He said he'd like to see me again, but then let me pay half the tab. We hugged, left the 2.1 restaurant and then I never heard from him again.
I'll probably marry this one.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Watch Me Walk Away
New Potential: Mr. Hornball
Meeting Place: Buffalo Wild Wings
I started talking with a new potential last week and met up with him this week. He seemed half way decent. Had a job. Didn't live with his folks, although I later learned that he has a roommate he also calls brother, but whatevs right? New year, new me, new rules. He's saving money. Just kidding he clearly has no money. Want to know how I know? As soon as I showed up he was waiting and he said something like "I'll buy the first round, you buy the second." Then he handed the waitress the exact amount of our bill. That's cute, someone who doesn't believe in tipping...#sarcasmfont
He proceeded to have awkward conversation the ENTIRE date. I've never wanted to leave so badly and to be honest...I've never had the guts to leave mid date, but I've always dreamed that I would one day be able to just walk out. Today was not that day. During every single lull in the conversation he would fill the empty space with the phrase "and what else." I'll tell you what else, buddy, get a new line and how about you tell me something about you for a change.
Eventually the conversation turned something terrible when he asked me how many one night stands I've had. 0 to be exact. He held up his hand as if to high-5 me and said "awesome me too" Something tells me that's a lie, like the fact that you felt comfortable asking me the question in the first place. He then asked how far sexually I would feel comfortable going on a first date. Uh, douchebag, you see the distance between us now...it's going to stay that way. He asked me what I was doing later. Well, since it's about 6:30pm now...I assume I'll probably be watching TV and going to bed...ALONE. I made up some line about running errands and doing a little shopping. He followed that up with "that's too bad, I was hoping we could go back to your place and watch a movie"
I have a feeling "watch a movie" to him does not actually mean watch a movie.
I'll probably marry this one.
Meeting Place: Buffalo Wild Wings
I started talking with a new potential last week and met up with him this week. He seemed half way decent. Had a job. Didn't live with his folks, although I later learned that he has a roommate he also calls brother, but whatevs right? New year, new me, new rules. He's saving money. Just kidding he clearly has no money. Want to know how I know? As soon as I showed up he was waiting and he said something like "I'll buy the first round, you buy the second." Then he handed the waitress the exact amount of our bill. That's cute, someone who doesn't believe in tipping...#sarcasmfont
He proceeded to have awkward conversation the ENTIRE date. I've never wanted to leave so badly and to be honest...I've never had the guts to leave mid date, but I've always dreamed that I would one day be able to just walk out. Today was not that day. During every single lull in the conversation he would fill the empty space with the phrase "and what else." I'll tell you what else, buddy, get a new line and how about you tell me something about you for a change.
Eventually the conversation turned something terrible when he asked me how many one night stands I've had. 0 to be exact. He held up his hand as if to high-5 me and said "awesome me too" Something tells me that's a lie, like the fact that you felt comfortable asking me the question in the first place. He then asked how far sexually I would feel comfortable going on a first date. Uh, douchebag, you see the distance between us now...it's going to stay that way. He asked me what I was doing later. Well, since it's about 6:30pm now...I assume I'll probably be watching TV and going to bed...ALONE. I made up some line about running errands and doing a little shopping. He followed that up with "that's too bad, I was hoping we could go back to your place and watch a movie"
I have a feeling "watch a movie" to him does not actually mean watch a movie.
I'll probably marry this one.
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